How I Potty Trained a Freshly-Turned 3 Year Old

I thought she would go to Kindergarten in diapers.  I really did.  We begged and pleaded and bribed and sat and pleaded and bribed and begged some more.  NOTHING DOING.  This girl wasn't ditching the diapers for Starbursts, Little People Carriages, or even offers for anything she wanted.  I couldn't understand it.  Girls were supposed to be way more advanced on this stuff than boys.  She was supposed to potty train herself at 18 months, for crying out loud.  Her brother was 2 1/2 when he traded the Pampers for the Spiderman.  She was now 3.  And, it was slightly ridiculous.  Not even slightly.  I was so done with her not being potty trained. 

Wouldn't YOU be ready to see this face regularly if you were a toilet?!

But, as I might have mentioned previously, no amount of any efforts on my part were going to make a difference in that stubborn little mind.  And, so, I had given up.  "She'll go when she's ready," my mom kept saying.  I guess so.  I figured by the time we moved and had gotten settled, we could try again.  She'd only be 1/2 way to 4.  Who cares, right?

And, so it was very innocently one Monday afternoon in mid-June when Mr. A asked me if THIS was the week he was going to gymnastics camp.  "Not this week, I replied, but next week."  Miss M happened to be within earshot and quickly piped up, "I want to go to gymnastics camp!  Mommy, I go, too, with Mr. A?"

"No, you can only go to gymnastics camp if you go on the potty ALL the time - every single time - and wear big girl panties."

"Fine, Mom.  I do it.  I go ALLL the time.  I go get my big girl panties right now."

She had one week and I figured we'd see.  Gymnastics camp hung over her head like the biggest dangling carrot ever.  A few accidents here and there in the next 5 days, but wouldn't you know that this little girl got to go to gymnastics camp the following week with her big brother and did not have one accident.  Not even a squirt. 

Her best buddy, Mr. A., took her every time she needed to go.  He has a good heart, that Mr. A.  And, the 2 of them have a pretty tight squeeze on one another's hearts. 

I'm pretty sure they held hands just like this every time he took her to the bathroom.  Love these two.

I will most certainly not win any Mother of the Year Awards for how I potty trained my first daughter.  I don't care, though.  I bought her potty training-ness for a pretty penny.  And wish I'd done it 6 months earlier. 

Miss M, for the record, you were worth every penny anyway!  Sure love you!

Little by Little

My sister-in-law, Kelly, inspired me to post again.  She does it every day.  She's that kinda gal - she went from absolutely nothing to every day something.  I told her I didn't want to use my blog to whine.  She said sometimes that's what it's for, even if it's just a little something.  So, I'll start with my favorite little something.

Baby S.  She turned 1 on July 25.  1. Yes, 1 year old.  Time marches so quickly on.  I love it and I hate it all at the same time.  She is a peanut of a gal.  She weighed 19 lbs 2 oz at her check up.  She's in the 20th percentile for weight.  But, she was in the 75th percentile for height.  Go figure.  No teeth - not a one in sight, even.  She's crawling all over.  In the last 2 weeks she has started pulling herself up and letting us "walk" her around while her tiny little hands hold on to our index fingers on either side for stability.  I can make a little Bam-Bam pony tail on the top of her head.  And sometimes she'll even leave the bow in for 5 or 10 minutes.  Until she remembers it's there and pulls it out, tries to put it back in by putting it on top of her head, and then hands it to me to put back in and repeat that game until I'm done.  She L-O-V-E-D her birthday cupcake.  The big one I was planning to make her got packed up in the hundreds of thousands of pounds of stuff that is in storage, but a homemade yellow one with chocolate frosting sufficed.  We celebrated her 2 nights in a row.  Lucky girl.  And, lucky mom.  I love nothing more than watching a newly-minted 1-year-old smoosh that frosting and cake all over their face.  My son wanted nothing to do with it.  My girls, on the other hand.  Can't get enough.  And Baby S performed both nights.  Cake crumbles and frosting remnants all over tiny hands, and chubby cheeks, and a toothless wonder smile shining through.  I love my Baby S so much.  She is so entertained by her brother and sister, yet so into doing things in her own way and even by herself.  She gets fed when she claps (her way of signing "more"), and even other times if she can scream over the others.  She drinks her juice from her sippy and loves to chew on her toothbrush, even though she doesn't yet need it.  No teeth does not stop her from enjoying the finer things in life, however.  She still eats chicken nuggets, cheese, yogurt, peas, corn, cinnamon raisin toast, saltine crackers, pretzels, quesadillas, rice and beans, olives, ramen noodles, chicken noodle soup, etc, etc.  She just sucks a little longer, I guess, to soften it right up!  I'm pretty sure it's a testament of her tenacity and patience. 

And on to my next little something.  That little thing with a roof where we put beds and toys and belongings and make memories.  A house.  I think I miss my old house because we have yet to find a new one.  Well, I guess we've found one, but the powers that be are just taking their sweet time to realize that it's ours.  My DH is working his hardest on that one and it will all work out.  We'd really like for it to be sooner rather than later, though.  More on that if it works out.

My last little thing of the night.  My friends.  My sweet, Philadelphia-forever friends.  They'll never leave.  And, we'll likely never move back.  I'm starting to come to grips with that.  Little by little. The night I said goodbye to one of my best ones and walked back into the hotel at 3:00 AM (when we went back to pack up the house. I mean supervise others packing the house and loading the truck. we hung with friends as much as we could) my last night there, I'd been crying so hard and for so long that the hotel night clerk took one look at me and asked if I'd just broken up with my boyfriend.  No, sir, it's much worse than that.  Much, much sadder.  I then took my cryfest upstairs and sobbed into my DH's shirt for quite some time.  I didn't sleep that night.  It was finally real.  We were leaving.  I cried some more on the way to the airport and then when the plane took off.  And I still have days where I can't fight back the crocodile tears.  But, they are becoming fewer.  And, as I told a dear friend today - sometimes the right thing and the hard thing are the same thing.  And, thus it is for me.

I think that's all I've got for now.  Thanks, Kel.  Come back next time for a much more upbeat account of life in the place where I spent my first 65* and cloudy birthday EVER.  :)  

Looks Like We Made It

All in one piece. We have arrived in our new "home." I say that because we still have a real home to find and doctors and dentists and hairdressers, etc, but we are all finally adjusted to the time change and starting to assume a new normal.

The hotel we stayed in for the first 4 days was luxurious, our temp housing is not so much but it will suffice. The kids have re-discovered "spiderman park" and are in heaven. The weather has been awesome. We celebrated DH's bday in grand style with a day on the lake, a picnic on the shores, and a yummy dinner with family.

Speaking of family, we have had lots of family in town already! DH's parents came for a visit, my mom came to check in on us all (my sister, Kim, lives here too), and my other sister and her family are in town visiting multiple sets of family as well! It's been so nice to have helpers with our kids, consultants on our house-hunting, more party-goers for the birthday, grocery cart pushers at Costco, and on and on!

Baby S has a "little" big bday coming up and we're all excited for her. She is crawling all around (has been for a month or so), loves her big brother and sister, likes to try to eat what we're eating (which is slightly challenging because she still has no teeth). She loves her blankies and bedtime, is drinking whole milk like a champ, eats tortellini, olives, bread, yogurt, cheese, puffs, baby ma'ams, cheerios, and anything else we can come up with! She is starting to develop an opinion and stand supported for brief periods of time. At this point we are hoping just for teeth by her first birthday!

So this week we continue the house hunt, try to figure out how to talk to friends on East Coast time, resolve to spend less at the grocery store, and get all settled in, we will also work to find time to swim in the pool, run on the trail, play with cousins, and discover new places!

Ding Dong the B is Gone

Finally.  No more excuses.  After 3 glorious years, it was time to say farewell to Miss M's favorite possession - her "B" or binky or pacifier - whatever you prefer to call it.  She was only allowed to have it in her bed, so she spent a lot of time in that bed.  With that B.  She also slept for a long time with it.  And sometimes she'd still take 2 naps a day with it.  It was a blessing and a curse, though.  When she'd have it in her mouth and start talking through it, I couldn't have been more annoyed.  Yet, when she'd "cuddle with my B" and snuggle right in to our chests and just lay there, I couldn't have been more loving. 

Alas, it was time.  2 weeks ago she had finally gotten over her nasty sickness.  DH had gone to the gym and I was putting the kids to bed.  We had talked with Miss M about giving the B to the binky fairy, but she cried very very real tears.  Crocodile ones, I tell ya.  She wasn't putting it in a box and leaving it for anyone - not even Santa Claus or her sister, Baby S.  And, so, DH had put the B away earlier in the day, didn't tell me where it was, and I couldn't get a hold of him.  I told her to lie down and that he would bring it to her when he came home.

She did and when he came home she was still awake.  He marched upstairs, told her she didn't need it anymore, that he had put it away, and she would be fine.  She whimpered a little bit but promptly fell asleep.  She asked for it a lot the next day, cried some when I put her to bed again, but we stayed strong in our resolve and she even got a present from the Binky Fairy the next day (because Daddy had sent it to her).  Her very own Little People airport (thank you, Target toy sale).  She was delighted.

Every once in a while she'll still ask for it.  I can't say I miss it at all (except for the 6:30 wake up instead of the 7:45 wake up).  I know, however, that she sure does.  It was a good little buddy for her.  But, lesson learned.  Don't wait until Baby S is 3 to take it away.  Too.  Much.  Drama.

For Good.

Miss M turned 3 on May 30.  For good. 

My little bro, Chris, got married on May 28th.  For good.

My sweet Baby S is up on all fours, has no teeth, and is 10 months old.  For good.

And now the big stuff.  We are leaving Pennsylvania.  For good. 

We are moving across the entire country.  To Seattle.  To chase a dream (DH's).  And some family.  For good. 

And, to paraphrase Elphaba and Glinda from "Wicked," I have been changed.  For Good.  I will miss my friends and close-by family so very very very much.  I know that there are new opportunities on the horizon, but since I haven't seen those yet, I'll stick with what I have seen.  Fantastic friends that are like family.  Really, they're my village.  My support in raising my babies.  My support in having my babies.  One of my best ones said to me the other day, "I don't get to see your kids grow up.  That's not fair."  I know.  I know.  Believe me, I know.  Family that is close enough to be here in a few short hours.  To celebrate holidays and birthdays and for-no-reason days.  Life as we have known it for the last 7 years.  We will store it all in our memory banks and we will treasure it and we will love it.  This has been a wonderful station on our journey.  For good.

Let me be clear on one more thing, however.  There is no possible way that we can deny that we are supposed to be going now.  For whatever the reason is, our path to the Northwest has opened up to this move in a most improbable fashion.  Everything has been made possible.  And, so, we will go.  DH will no longer have to commute.  My sister and his brother and their families will be nearby.  Our house is under contract.  Fely has agreed to come.  Mr. A starts Kindergarten in the Fall.  And I got a pretty sweet gig too.  It will be for good. 

Dear Philly Friends, please come visit me.  You won't regret it!  You will be changed.  For good.  I promise.

A Moment

Today I had a "Dear Time, is there any way to pause?" moment.  All dolled up in his starched khakis, freshly pressed white shirt, plaid Easter tie, and black loafers (I lost one battle), Mr. A was sitting quietly in the backseat while I drove him to preschool for his last day and his "Spring Sing" and graduation program.  It was so quiet back there that I turned around to look.  He was staring out the window gazing at the trees whizzing by and the spring colors coming to life. 

All of a sudden he looked so old to me.  And so handsome.  My not-so-little boy growing up and getting all big on me.  I like it.  I don't like it.  I'm torn.  Now I get ready to throw him out into that big, bad world of even more other world influences and thoughts and feelings and WORDS.  Oh, the words.  I'm not ready.  So, for now I'll just keep his cute, innocent smirk in the back of my mind and remember just how very much I love this little boy and all that he has brought with him to life.  His vigor, his energy.  Oh, the energy.  His giggle, his tender heart, his enthusiasm, his inquisitive mind, his sneaky ways (he managed to get off the swings , go to the freezer, and sit on the front porch eating 8 Otter Pops today before anyone noticed), and his fun-loving attitude. 

Happy Graduation Day, Mr. A!  Here's to the many more that lay ahead.  Far, far, far ahead.  In the way, super duper distant, very distant future. 

Life and such

My first blog post from my new iPad. I'm kind of addicted to it! And so is somebody else we know as you can see from the picture if I can get it to work.

I'm kind of addicted to Scrabble. Do I dare mention out loud that DH and I played it for our Friday night date night last week. Did I say that out loud?!

We've got spring fevers at our house this week - literally. All of th kids have had fevers, coughs, chills, etc, at some point in the last week. Miss M threw up in Nursery (she has previously had no symptoms of anything) while I was at home from church with fevered Mr. A and Baby S. Aren't we awesome parents?!

In another classic parenting moment, poor DH was taking a look into Miss M's mouth because she was complaining that it hurt her when all of a sudden she threw up again. Let's just say that everybody has had more than their fair share of showers and baths this week!

And tonight Mr. A asked me if I was going to his school friend, Connor's, mom's birthday party. I told him that I didn't know about it because I don't know her. He couldn't understand why because he said, "But, Mom, it's a MOM party! Just for moms!!". He just didn't realize that just being a mom didn't automatically qualify me for this party!

It was 85 and sunny yesterday and 55 and raining today. And we wonder why anyone is sick?!

And, for this week's entertainment...

Here is a part of the email I received from Mr. A's teacher late last week. 

"In addition, he has demonstrated an interest in play that involves guns. For example, he has been making guns from Legos and using them as such in his play with other children. In addition, A has been using his fingers to simulate guns during Circle Time (when he was struggling to stay focused). As you can understand, we discourage play that involves guns and we would appreciate your encouraging A to play in a less aggressive way."

And here is what I wish I could have said (only after asking my friends and family if this was normal):

"Dear Teacher,

He's a boy.  And he's 5. 

Thanks for your concern and let's hope that his protection instincts serve him well for many years to come.  I'm pretty sure he was shooting the bad guys.  At least, that's what he does at home for his little sister. 

Cheers!

W"

Here's what I really did say: I'm sorry about the guns and we have encouraged him to be the "protector" of his classmates in other ways.

Just keepin' it real, folks.  That's all for now.  Love you, A-bug!

(ps - the sneaky little dude came and took my iPad off of the nightstand after we had put him to bed (and DH and I were downstairs catching up) to play Angry Birds - his teacher should be happy that it uses a slingshot instead.  never. a. dull. moment.).  

This Week

• I'm ready for Spring (go away, snow showers that are threatening tonight)
• My kids got a new baby cousin...a girl, finally, for my sister, Alexis!
• We re-arranged the furniture in our room - a fresh look never hurts
• Baby S cannot be stopped.  She is one mean rollin' machine
• Miss M cannot be stopped either.  She dances around the dinner table until she is finally motivated to finish to get her dessert.  
• Miss M has a new favorite past time - taking her little chair and pulling it right up to the buffet with the mirror on top.  She stands on the chair that gets her to the perfect height where she can watch herself in the mirror - she is such a girl.  She brushes her hair there, sings herself songs there, dances there, you name it.
• Mr. A participated in a rite of passage - he got to watch the "original" Star Wars with his dad - just like his dad did when he was 5.  I'm not sure who was more excited.  
• I have much to be grateful for. 

Babies

I'm in that phase of life right now where I feel like I am constantly in some kind of "baby" mode.  Baby feeding, diapering, napping, rolling, scooting, growing, gummy smiling, drooling, spitting, noise-making, cooing, laughing, singing, reading, changing, grabbing, gnawing, sitting, drinking, playing, observing, etc, etc.

Because of that baby mode, I do a lot of thinking about what comes next for that baby.  How do I best help her to grow, learn, feel challenged, discover passions, explore the world, speak kindly, treat others with respect, be independent, yet still rely on me?  All sorts of questions.  And, then I realize that I shouldn't worry so much about all of that because moments like this one (the one above) are fleeting and should be lived in now.

Love you, Baby S.  Thanks for making us all smile so big and so bright.